


D&D Night

by bearonthecouch



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 18:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20139817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearonthecouch/pseuds/bearonthecouch
Summary: “You can’t say you’re not a little bit interested in how this is going to turn out."





	D&D Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flourchildwrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flourchildwrites/gifts).

> [flourchildwrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flourchildwrites/pseuds/flourchildwrites) challenged me to write the kids playing D&D a long time ago, so I whipped this up while I was at Gen Con. I hope you enjoy, friend.

“You come across a group of six kobolds. What do you do?”  
  
“Kobolds?” said Havoc, distinctly unimpressed. “Seriously?”

“It’s Ed’s first game,” Breda pointed out. “Kobolds are a rite of passage.”

Havoc sighed heavily and settled back in his chair to see what Ed would do. Mustang smiled enigmatically from behind his DM screen, and nodded toward the map and miniatures spread out on the table. “What do you do?” he asked their youngest player again. 

Ed leaned forward a little, putting his elbows on the table to get a closer look at the map. “Um,” he started, biting his lower lip. “I guess I… cast fireball?”  
  
“You can’t do that at first level,” said Falman, who was sipping from a water bottle filled with sweet tea. 

“You probably meant fire _ bolt _,” Fuery added helpfully, as he flipped through the pages of the Player’s Handbook. 

“Yeah,” Ed said. “I do that.”

“Roll it,” Mustang ordered, and Ed took one of the funny-shaped dice from the pile the others had let him borrow. 

“Not that one,” Hawkeye said gently. “Here.” She dropped a differently shaped die into his hand, and he nodded his thanks. 

Ed rolled the d20 and watched as it landed on the number 20, to most of the table’s disbelief.

“You lucky bastard!” Havoc cried. 

“Well done, Edward,” Riza said calmly. 

“You gave him some kind of cheating dice, Hawkeye,” Jean demanded. 

Riza shook her head. “I did not. Don’t be a sore loser.” 

Once she helped Ed total up his damage, it was more than obvious that he’d killed the one kobold he’d targeted. 

“You set him fire and _ boom _ , that’s that.” Mustang was now grinning, and there was a glint of something dangerous in his eyes. “Now,” he said dramatically. “It’s the kobolds’ turn.”  
  
Ed held his breath and waited for the revenge attack, and it wasn’t long in coming. One of the little monsters ran toward the figurine representing Ed’s character, and stabbed at him with a dagger. The little knife couldn’t do a lot of damage, but a first-level wizard didn’t have a lot of hit points. “Did you just _ kill _me?” Ed moaned, glaring at Mustang. 

“You’re not really dead yet,” Breda said. “You’ve just got to make your saving throws.”

“_ What _saving throws?” 

“Here, I’ll help you.” Hawkeye pulled Ed’s character sheet in front of her and pointed to the part marked Death Saving Throws. “The DM will tell you when to roll, and then you just have to get a ten or higher. You’ll be fine.”  
  
“That’s true,” Breda said reassuringly. “Hardly anyone dies in Tier 1.” 

“And if you do, there’s probably someone who can resurrect you,” Fuery added cheerfully. 

“You could make it a _ little _more dramatic, guys,” Mustang sighed heavily. 

“Ah, you’re just trying to scare the kid,” said Havoc, who was sitting next to Mustang and so was easily able to reach out and smack him. 

In revenge for that act of insubordination, Mustang turned the next kobold loose against Havoc’s barbarian. The barbarian was much hardier than Ed’s wizard, and the kobold’s ineffectual attack didn’t bother Havoc in the slightest. Roy missed against Falman and Breda, and Fuery’s druid took some damage but would shrug it off easily when he wild-shaped on his next turn. 

Roy looked down at his notebook to confirm that Hawkeye was next in the initiative order, while Breda rummaged around in his backpack until he found a large bag of chips. He tossed it onto the corner of the dry-erase map board, _ away _from the fight set up, and waited for Falman and Fuery to help themselves. 

“There are five kobolds left,” Roy said to Hawkeye. “What are you doing?”

Riza flashed the DM a small smile and fired an arrow at the kobold who had recently gone after Havoc, then sent her wolf companion into the fray to growl, snap, bite, and generally intimidate the little monsters. Fuery turned into wolf and ran to join Hayate, Falman and Breda flanked one of the kobolds and easily dispatched it with their teamwork. Between the six members of Team Mustang, they were able to mop up the rest of the fight in short order, and Edward stretched the drama of his near-death to the max by failing his first two death saves and then pulling through with the last three. 

“I didn’t even get to do anything,” he pouted. 

“Don’t worry, kid,” Mustang said. “We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”

“We search the bodies,” Breda announced almost before the last attack’s damage had even been counted up. It turned out the kobolds were carrying the expected low-grade weapons, but also something that resembled a map. Riza took it from Breda and searched for tracks or pathways through the woods that surrounded them. 

“Looks like we’re not making it to the city any time soon,” Falman lamented.  
  
“Hey boss,” Havoc piped up. “Can we order a pizza?”

They took a break to order and then eat the pizza, during which time Fuery found The Avengers on TV. Ed lay down on the floor to watch, while Riza joined Roy in the kitchen. Havoc went outside to smoke and Falman and Breda sat on the couch, playing checkers in between bites of steaming hot pizza. 

By the time they’d all eaten, the table in the other room that held all their stuff seemed daunting. “We could just finish the movie, I guess,” Fuery said. “We’ll play again next Thursday.”

It’s not that Kain didn’t want to play D&D, he’d just grown used to the way that games nights comfortably evolved into watching movies, indulging in alcohol, and eating snack foods.

Ed, though, was so stubbornly tenacious that he would not let Kain’s easy suggestion take away his opportunity to finish defeating Mustang. “What? No way!” he cried, jumping to his feet. He pushed his way over to the table and sat in Mustang’s seat. 

“What do you think you’re doing, Elric?” Roy asked, as he put his hand atop the DM screen. 

“Oh, come on, I bet I can do it. It can’t be that hard.”

“You wanna DM a game you’ve only played for an hour?” Fuery asked cautiously.

“Beat it,” Mustang insisted. “Get out of my chair.”

Edward huffed, but moved over to his own chair. The others gathered round, and they followed Riza and the kobolds’ map to a hideout filled with kobolds and goblins, an army belonging to an unknown commander. The Avengers still played on the TV in the other room, the fight scenes providing ambience for the party’s combat adventures. 

It took nearly two hours to clear out the hideout, by which point Havoc and Breda were tossing non-sequiturs back and forth and checking into the game only when it was their turn to hit something. Ed still looked determined to win the mission singlehandedly, despite the fact that D&D wasn’t that kind of game. And Mustang folded up his DM screen and asked Riza to make them all some popcorn. Ed sat down, still stubbornly refusing to admit that he’d had fun in any activity that Mustang was in charge of, but Fuery smiled at him until he smiled back, and then they were re-telling the highlights of the night’s adventure and laughing the entire while.

“I should go home,” Riza said, setting the popcorn bowl on the coffee table. “I need to walk Hayate.”

“Stay awhile,” Roy said softly, wrapping his arm around her. “The dog’ll be fine.”

After a few moments, Riza nodded. “I suppose you’re right.”

Ed watched them with his mouth hanging open, astonished by what was practically a public display of affection. No one else looked the least bit surprised. 

“I think that’s our cue to leave,” Havoc fake-whispered to Breda, who nodded. 

“C’mon, Chief,” Breda said to Ed, reaching out to take his hand. “Game over for tonight.”  
  
Ed raised an eyebrow, but followed Breda and Havoc out of Mustang’s apartment without much protest. Falman and Fuery followed right behind him. 

“Are Hawkeye and…?” Ed started.

Havoc snickered. 

“Nah,” said Breda. “Mustang’ll roll a seduction check and fail and we’ll all keep pretending like they’re not obviously attracted to one another.” 

“I think it’s kind of sad,” Fuery said. 

“But there are rules about having relationships with people you work with,” Falman pointed out. 

Havoc rolled his eyes. “Like Mustang doesn’t break rules all the time.”

“We should be supportive,” Fuery insisted.

“I am very supportive,” declared Havoc. 

“I don’t make fun of their terrible attempts at flirting… much,” Breda agreed. 

“Maybe we can set them up on a real date.” Fuery sounded disturbingly excited about the prospect. 

“No way am I getting involved in that,” Havoc announced, and Breda and Falman immediately agreed.

“Ed?” asked Fuery, and the kid shrugged.

“Sure, I guess. What’s the worst that can happen?”  
  
“You’d better hope your luck as a matchmaker is better than your goddamn dice rolls, Fuery.”  
  
“I thought you said you were supportive,” Breda snapped at Havoc. 

“It’s like a quest!” 

Havoc looked helplessly at Falman. 

“You can’t say you’re not a little bit interested in how this is going to turn out,” Breda said to both of them.

“Are you taking bets?”

Breda smiled mischievously and shrugged. “Everybody rolls a natural 20 eventually, dude. Why can’t this be Mustang’s turn?”

“Or Hawkeye’s,” Fuery added, and everyone quickly agreed. 

“I want them to be happy together,” Ed said, surprising everyone. “What? They’ve been nice to me, for years, when they didn’t have to be. I can want something good for them.”

Fuery grinned, and the others nodded, as they settled into relaxed chatter and headed for home.


End file.
